In Memory of Sandy Stevens
I met Sandy through the Aspergillosis Support Group run by the National Aspergillosis Centre in 2015. She like me was a patient at the Royal Brompton. Sandy was admitted regularly for intravenous antifungals and antibiotics and quite often her stays in hospital coincided with my appointments in outpatients. Hence how our friendship started.
Thinking back, she had to endure through so much. I think these courses started late in 2015. Being admitted every 6 weeks for 10 days intensive treatment. It would take a toll on her body. She would get high blood pressure and the drugs upset her electrolytes which in turn meant more intravenous treatments. Then there was the nausea, she had to deal with on top of everything.
I used to contact her whenever I had an appointment so I could come up to the ward to see her. Being a veteran of The Brompton, a lot of the staff knew me and I must admit we got away with quite a lot. If my appointment was early, I would visit Sandy first and take up goodies as I never knew how long my appointment would be. The nurses would be fine letting me in early as they knew me. Other patients sometimes looked peeved at the special treatment we got. The perks of being regulars. Sandy would sometimes apologise to me when I was early as she liked to have a bit of makeup on and her hair done. She was always immaculate. As our friendship grew, she was more relaxed.
One time I was being admitted and Sandy was in for her regular treatment and we were hoping we would be in together. She contacted me and let me know when a bed was free but unfortunately, I ended up being admitted the day after she left. We laughed that it was planned that way, they wouldn’t have us in the ward together, we would have caused havoc. She had an amazing wicked sense of humour and we used to have a laugh. Another time when she was in, I needed to have an oxygen test and she asked the physio how this was done. Within 24 hours I had a phone call saying I could come up the next day have the test done and visit my friend afterwards. She was the most caring, kind lady and even though she was going through hell she thought of others.
Whenever I go to Brompton for appointments my husband, Martin, comes along. He would come up to the ward and ask if Sandy needed/wanted anything then leave us alone for a gossip. Big fat blueberries or Milky Way bars and sometimes a TV magazine were the usual requests.
This time last year Sandy told me she was going to stop treatment. She was getting worse and it was taking its toll on her getting ready to come into hospital let alone the toxic treatments. Over the years we had noticed her weight loss even though she tried hard to put weight on. It was decided she would be sent home on palliative care. Even though I had no appointment I went up to see her. I was so shocked when I saw her. Martin did his usual trick and disappeared for a couple of hours and left us. Even though it was a sad meeting we still managed to laugh and put the world to rights. When it was time to say goodbye it as the hardest thing. Sandy walked with us to the lift, me with my sticks and her breathlessness we walked at the same pace. She hugged Martin then me and we didn’t want to let go or say goodbye we knew we wouldn’t see each other again.
The past year has been difficult for her, but she has managed. The Support Groups on Facebook have been a great help for her. She was able to vent when she was frustrated, and she made friends who messaged her to give her support. She always replied and kept in touch.
I was in Brompton in April and Sandy contacted me most days to see how I was, asking if the food had improved, she knew the room I was in and remembered some of the nurses.
I could not ask for a kinder friend who thought of others even though her life was so difficult. She will be missed by so many people as well as her loving daughter and sons.
Rest in peace my friend
Jill Fairweather
Her funeral will be on 30th July 2019
